softball or masturbation?

I have been playing co-ed softball in the Toronto Sport and Social Club this summer. It has been pretty fun with 1 major exception; we always loose. There were a few close games but we were rarely in command of the game. The regular season closed last week and of course we ended in absolute last place. There were other mediocer teams, but none as decisivly shitty as us. We sucked huge.

This past monday was what we thought to be the playoffs. We showed up to learn that only the top 4 teams made the playoffs and that our last game was a complimentary 'fun game' for the 2 worst teams. The other team, composed of a bunch of single people(didn't previously know one another before playing), only had like 5 people show up. Meanwhile, our entire over-staffed team was there and over-eager for our first win. To preserve our efforts of traveling all the way to the park, we gave the other team 3 of our players so that we could still play a game.

Never was there a chance as good as this for 'pretzel' victory (our forced team name is 'and here come the pretzels'.... yes, it starts with 'and'). We were off to an exceptionally crappy start and that trend continued through the game. I will spare the embarrasing details, but we ended up loosing 10-2 to the team of misfits. Its been true in all previous outings, but this time with our players on the other team, it was literal; we were beating ourselves. Otherwise know as masturbation.